Sex and the Office: Women, Men, and the Sex Partition That’s Dividing the Workplace by Kim Elsesser

Author:Kim Elsesser [Elsesser, Kim]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Taylor Trade Publishing
Published: 2015-07-14T16:00:00+00:00

11

Birds of a Feather

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe we are above-average drivers.

—Dave Barry, author1

During World War II, Winston Churchill described how a misunderstanding emerged between American and British military officers.2 The British had an urgent issue they needed to discuss with the Americans and told the Americans they needed to “table it.” By “table it,” the Brits meant they wanted to discuss the issue immediately—they wanted to bring it to the table. The Americans agreed this was an important issue to discuss, but to the Americans, the term “table it” meant to defer the issue or leave it on the table. Churchill described how a lengthy argument between the two parties ensued before both realized they wanted exactly the same thing.

Different languages, cultures, and etiquette often result in difficulties and misunderstandings when we try to conduct business internationally. Fortunately, a multitude of seminars and university courses offer assistance to those conducting business abroad. When exchanging business cards in Japan, business travelers are advised that they should read the card before putting it away to avoid insulting their colleague. Those visiting China are advised that overly strong handshakes are considered offensive. In Russia, firmer handshakes are the norm, and business travelers might be told to expect to consume some alcohol while conducting business with their colleagues.

Despite the enormous efforts we make to bridge cultural differences, little attempt is made to bridge gender differences in the workplace. Just as our international business associates aren’t really that different from us, differences between men and women are small, but important. As with our foreign counterparts, different communication styles and different interests can drive a wedge between the sexes. And, as with our international counterparts, greater understanding of our cross-sex colleagues would go a long way to bridging these gaps. Unfortunately, a lack of understanding regarding our cross-gender coworkers can lead to a preference for same-sex coworkers.

Not surprisingly, most gender differences have their roots in childhood, and I see them every day in my own home. My husband has a warning that he often shouts to me. “Kim, bend your knees!” he cautions, as my hockey-player son comes barreling into the kitchen attempting to check me into the refrigerator. Other than playing ice hockey, my son loves to wrestle and roughhouse with his friends (and occasionally his parents), and his make-believe games usually involve weapons, fighting, and destruction. These games are quite different from the games I enjoyed with my girlfriends in elementary school. I can’t recall ever checking my parents or tackling my friends. These gender-specific play styles and interests we adopt at an early age impact our expectations for friendships throughout our lives.

Consistent with my experience at home, researchers studying young children have found several key gender differences in play styles. Primarily, young boys tend to play in larger groups than girls, and their play tends to be rougher. Often

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